My cats got luekemia

Peter and I went to Sharlene's house last night and we both had to take a crap and then we started fighting about who was entitled to use the bathroom first. I concluded it was me because he had taken a crap two hours prior, whilst I had not. He stated he should be able to use it first because he had verbalized that he needed to go poop once we got to Sharlene's. Are toilets similar to the shotgun scenario? Was I out of line thinking I should have first shit dibs, due to the time since my last bowel movement?Anyways I did not take the first crap and never took one for that matter. Now I'm probably going to have to use a gentle women's laxative because my colon is all pissed off. NOTE: I have started to give all characters false names because it's really just more fun.


The tranny

I went to New Orleans to visit my sister and one of the few incidents to note was I got to watch in horror as my father ogled a transexual striper with a huge ass. This transexual I think was only half a transexual cos she/he had to keep getting down from the pole to tuck her junk back in. These very high class ladies also had to change their own music and appeared to be working the bar as well.


Cinderella dressed in yella

If satan impregnated me would the pro-life syndicate condone an abortion?


My superior view view at Kings of Leon. That pole fucking rocked.

However, The Features were fantastic before that girl with the spangle shirt stood in front of me and nearly caused a seizure.


Marissa did a gang bang....and it was all for charity

I hope that title doesn't lead my 3 readers to think this entry will be good. Because really to be honest Marissa wasn't in a gang bang. She never got fisted for lupus. Though it would be a good way to make money for whatever ailment it is that's bringing you down. But lets not worry about the cure till we get the disease. I wonder what disease I will get? hmmmm....I don't know why I'm even writing about this, I was gonna write about how ones bumper has now turned into a platform for your political agenda....Nothing says I'm down with God!, more than a pro life fetus and a patriot ribbon on your mother fucking Windstar. And these people are getting plain ridiculous....Four ribbons is just frightening, not patriotic. It's just not enough anymore to put it on a fucking t-shirt or out in your lawn. I can now with 75% accuracy pinpoint the comings and goings of these so called patriot mobiles; Church, Walmart, a clinic bombing, Great Clips, McDonalds.


Husker du, more like Husker don't

I'm layin off the skank. Eunice called yesterday, I was to drowsy and we just kept talking in circles. I commented how someone was on the other line. We proceeded to talk for another 3 minutes about whether that call showed up on my caller ID. I decided I really didn't care if it did or didn't show up because I was lying down and wasn't going to get up anyway. Eunice thought it would be a good thing to know. So after about 4 minutes I thought that other call probably wasn't there anymore and we were faux rushing the conversation for no reason at this point. Then Eunice had two of my friends confused thinking one was the other and you get the idea. So one friend owns and operates a motorcycle and the other one is like 6 inches too short to put her feet down. Eunice thought she was cruising the highways and byways on her hog at a whopping 5'1. I asked Eunice how that played in her head and she said "Peculiar".


Are you there god? It's me Clemy.

Ezmerelda was hosting a weight watchers meeting over at her house the other day. The weight watcher gang consists of her mom and her moms overweight friends. Anyway, whilst mingling one of the women goes into this horrible coughing fit and then proceeds to sit quietly for the duration of the meeting.SOOO the meeting ends and everyone gets up to leave but this women still is sitting there. She leans over to Ezmerlda and says "Sorry, Hun I went into that coughing fit and peed on your couch a little." Ezmerlda is all fine about it thinking it's going to be no more than a little spot. BUT then the women gets up and it's a piss stain the size of a cantaloupe.... So then I went over to Ezmerelda's and sat on the floor.