8.28.2005

Lick it up baby, Lick it up


Eunice kept her vow and managed to try all of the 100+ plus snocone flavors prior to the close of this summers shaved ice season. Congrats Eunice you deserve it!

8.23.2005

Yr a straight shooter, Mr. John Hinkley

I have come to accept my layabout status in these last months but now it has come to an end and I must go to college just so I can get money....very sad. Oh how I love Junior College or I guess it is now called Community College......A step above a votech but not by much.

I also hit the new low of not getting any replies for my bid to be a medical research volunteer.I guess volunteer is used losely cuz you get paid but yeah they didn't even call me back.Is the medical research market that tight? Are people lining up to get blood drawn and CAT scans? I would assume this would be something for the homeless populous. So yeah I got beaten out by the homeless and attend junior college.

8.21.2005

What do you mean this phrenology degree is useless?

Should I make up tons of fauxgarage sale signs for a fictitious address then just marvel as the bargain hunters make their way through a mile long maze of cul-de-sacs and alleys, all which never leads to a sale of any sort.

8.20.2005

Plays keyboard and always falls asleep

If one should feel so inclined to search google images for *amputee porn* this just might be the only thing that comes up.

8.19.2005

Ten speeds r boring

OK so I didn't blog for a spell cuz I had nothing to say. Then the peanut gallery aka my sister was all "You never had anything to say before". So then I told her I think I've written everything I could think of on the subject of nothing and I was done.

THEN my friend MB (not to be confused with MC)called me in a panic because I hadn't returned her call. She had checked my blog and become "concerned" upon discovering it had been dormant for a month. Therefore, I will continue with the inconsequential ramblings just so none of my peers will assume that my absence means I am on the streets stealing awareness ribbons with a diesel fuel soaked rag pressed to my face.

8.18.2005

I hate myself and wish I was dead

In two months I’ll be twenty six, that’s your late twenties. Err… Twenty-six. I think it’s safe to say this isn’t turning out so fantastic.

Twenty-six year olds have children and mortgages. Twenty six year olds don’t hang out at IHOP and I bet they don’t spend twenty minutes pondering where they should put a new Sleater-Kinney sticker. This though may be like twenty-two when I said twenty-three year olds don’t huff computer duster. Guess what, turns out they still did! Twenty-three was a banner loser year. Though, if I look to twenty-two that may be the year I failed at both alcoholism and my eating disorder. So maybe it’s all the twenties. I think I may have completley sucked through all these.

But back to twenty-five and how much thought is required for proper sticker placement. You want it in a visible area, accenting something that may otherwise be construed as drab or adult (say my empty day planner). Then if you have an item, maybe a file cabinet that is already thoroughly stickered you must then place this new sticker in an area that will give it proper viewing amongst the gaggle of other stickers.

Stickers must be accrued and placed properly. Certain individuals get the “over sticker fever” this is when any sticker regardless of its contents or message is placed in highly seen areas to be viewed by all. These are usually animal stickers or cartoon themed stickers(The Simpson’s excluded), stickers that are best suited for lisa frank items. They demean dashboards and notebook covers. If these stickers are placed amongst your super stickers, all your sticker sized messages are then lost.

For example you can’t have your Johnny Cash fuck you sticker next to a koala bear eating eucalyptus..it’s just not kosher, this is a definite sticker violation.

Onto my day planner, having a plan that you’re then supposed to write down. That’s pressure. What if you have nothing to do? What do I write then?

11am Take grandma to buy ciggies
3pm Talk about toxic shock with the cashier at Target
7pm Think about where to put that Sleater-Kinney sticker

So really now every day of my life is just glaringly empty and it’s even written down for me to glance at on a regular basis.