I hate myself and wish I was dead

In two months I’ll be twenty six, that’s your late twenties. Err… Twenty-six. I think it’s safe to say this isn’t turning out so fantastic.

Twenty-six year olds have children and mortgages. Twenty six year olds don’t hang out at IHOP and I bet they don’t spend twenty minutes pondering where they should put a new Sleater-Kinney sticker. This though may be like twenty-two when I said twenty-three year olds don’t huff computer duster. Guess what, turns out they still did! Twenty-three was a banner loser year. Though, if I look to twenty-two that may be the year I failed at both alcoholism and my eating disorder. So maybe it’s all the twenties. I think I may have completley sucked through all these.

But back to twenty-five and how much thought is required for proper sticker placement. You want it in a visible area, accenting something that may otherwise be construed as drab or adult (say my empty day planner). Then if you have an item, maybe a file cabinet that is already thoroughly stickered you must then place this new sticker in an area that will give it proper viewing amongst the gaggle of other stickers.

Stickers must be accrued and placed properly. Certain individuals get the “over sticker fever” this is when any sticker regardless of its contents or message is placed in highly seen areas to be viewed by all. These are usually animal stickers or cartoon themed stickers(The Simpson’s excluded), stickers that are best suited for lisa frank items. They demean dashboards and notebook covers. If these stickers are placed amongst your super stickers, all your sticker sized messages are then lost.

For example you can’t have your Johnny Cash fuck you sticker next to a koala bear eating eucalyptus..it’s just not kosher, this is a definite sticker violation.

Onto my day planner, having a plan that you’re then supposed to write down. That’s pressure. What if you have nothing to do? What do I write then?

11am Take grandma to buy ciggies
3pm Talk about toxic shock with the cashier at Target
7pm Think about where to put that Sleater-Kinney sticker

So really now every day of my life is just glaringly empty and it’s even written down for me to glance at on a regular basis.


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