the calling

the medical research finally came calling.

I was required to sit perfectly still and stare at a blank wall for 300 seconds in a studio apartment next to Barnes-Jewish hospital. And when I say studio apartment I mean studio, it looked like an illegal organ outfit setup or what I have always imagined an illegal organ racket would look like. Upon walking in the door my internal judgment would have said "Hmm" this seems odd but I really don't have that anymore.

A laser was pointed at my caryatid artery taking my pulse and bloodpressure while an EKG did the exact same thing. But while i starred at this wall there was the overly serious doctor, the uninterested "lab assistant" and MC sitting behind me, saying nothing. This was all very uncomfortable.

Then they took photos for medical reference material and I was like "whateva" and signed the release. However, I did not look at this picture but MC did. She said I looked like a Jewish transexual from the horrible profile view. THEN while I'm staring at this wall, there was a camera pointed at me the whole time. I had no idea! I was making faces and smirking and just really acting idiotic as I always do because i thought no one could see anything besides my back. I would go into the science of this whole thing and medical significance but then I would just sound like a dork.

MC said the lab asst. was looking at her my space page and applying for credit cards the entire 5 minutes. Then they tried to tell me i had prehypertension but i think that's bogus and was probably just a little nervous sitting in a studio apartment whith a laser pointed at my neck. I should be getting my 30 dollars by check any day now.


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