Closer to fine...anyone? anyone?

Peter and I spent cinco de mayo with the lesbians at Sharlenes. I asked Peter where all the boys were. He said that's not how it works. "What about the gay boys?" I asked peter. He said that's not how it works either. Anyway, Those ladies love to party and take group photos. So I strategically placed myself in a few of them. And I really love doing that. Nothing makes me happier than throwing myself into strangers pictures. Just because I wanna make someone say, "Who the hell is that girl in my picture?" Yep, eternally puzzling someone is somehow exciting.

Then Sharlene broke out her guitar and I was ready to rock a little "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls, this usually gets the ladies in an uproar. I'm telling you back in 98' Closer to Fine could rock a gay party like nobody's business. I'm talking heartfelt swaying lighter action. The circle would form itself. So I strum a couple of chords and nothing. No "Wooo, go girl" NOTHING Then Sharlene quietly informed that these "younger ones" don't know it. What? My gay staple crowd pleaser is no longer current. I am now outdated in both the gay and straight circles.

I was driving and sober so I was not on my "A" game and after that closer to fine defeat, I was all down hill. Peter got all the after party accolades even. "Oh that Peter was so fun!" They all said. And I was just that asshole who made Peter leave. And that is fine but for the record I am a lot more fun after three drinks or more drugs or a set list of hits. But I think Peter enjoyed himself and the ladies enjoyed Peter and I can live vicariously through Peter. SO F IT.

I was discussing with a few of the gals how I had always wanted to get in a fight just to know how I'd stand should the real situation arise.

Sooze was down but didn't have insurance.

Reebok said she was ready to go fist to cuffs but then she looked very tan and sporty. She was wearing basketball shorts and then I was pretty sure her endurance would out last mine.

Henrietta was also wanting to brawl but she seemed like she was always ready to brawl. Thus leading me to believe that without fail she would repeatedly slam my face into the concrete and laugh a devilish laugh as all my teeth cascaded outta my mouth into the pool of blood in the condo parking lot. Yeah I think she had some real hate, as where I just had curiosity.

So I really need to find a 110-130 lb lady who is not really that mean or muscular and has insurance with dental.


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