2.27.2005

Shove it up your own ass

Stevie left for Flight attendant training yesterday, so I had to go out and meet him for drinks. While I was waiting for Stevie, I thought maybe I should ponder our relationship but the only thing that kept popping into my head was his ass douching debacle.

Stevie had decided one night that he might see some action, so in preparation for his first bottom experience he decided to blow a whole bottle of Massengill up his own ass. He said the immediate feeling was that of a horrid stomach cramp and he instantly doubled over in pain. He must have started moaning cuz then his father started pounding on the door yelling "What the hell are you doing in there?"Stevie's ass had locked shut and he just sat there all cramped up, waiting for his father to go away. Then after a few moments, his father really didn't care anymore and then Stevie unloaded the douche in the one explosive second.

So Stevie shows up and I bring up the douche story because it was all I was thinking about. Stevie was surprised I still remembered it but said he now avoids the dreaded Hershey kiss by a "clean up" prior to sexual contact. Which I think "clean up" is like a ladies whore bath where you just get the hot spots.

2.14.2005

Jesus hates me

How did Gonorrhea get to be called the clap and why is it the only STD that gets a catchy nickname?

2.02.2005

I GOT MY FIRST HATE MAIL!!!

Listen up kids, Marie Curie and all. We got our first hate mail! I never thought this day would come, what a historic event. The hate mail in question was thrown to the direction of the 27 lb. pic. and it was labelled "offensive" and "insensative". I was told I needed to work and my "empathy and intellect". That's news! Anyway, here's my apology to anyone I may have offended. I'm fucking sorry, I'm a douche bag bitch. more to follow, i'm crunched time.

**After deleting my blog and then reinstating it, I lost that choice comment.**

LADY WHO LEFT HATE MAIL ON MY 27 LB PIC, PLEASE REPOST REMARK AT YOUR LEISURE