I'm retarded on paper. really

Not that I don't love visiting my grandparents but for the last four years i've visited, my grandpa insists on telling me the same story. This trip he decided to put it off until I had already packed my bags. "Before, you leave," he said "i have a little story to tell you...."
this is the part in my staple grandparent visit where he tells me how when I was child my whole family thought I was retarded. Yeah really retarded. My mother then took her little retard to a junior college where a student teacher certified me retarded, on paper even. My grandfather always softens the blow of this tragic tale by replacing "retard" with "embocile". Grandpa says he told my mother "that JC teacher doesn't know what she was talking about. She's fine."

On this trip he decided to tell me this story because I had proven my unretardedness by realigning his printer...mmmmhhhhhm....i'm a real fucking wiz. Put that in your pipe junior college student teacher who told my mom I was retarded in 1983, I can press two buttons on a computer keyboard.


At 3:28 AM, Blogger marie curie said...

you don't look like a tard either

At 7:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

well hell sugar, i thought you smeurt.


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