Mama Cass thighs

Should anyone ever be bored or inebriated enough to decide to hit karaoke with some alternate lyrics to Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes, here they are for your singing pleasure. Sad indeed that I took the time to write this and maybe even a little sadder that it took nearly two weeks. (Suggestions welcome and appreciated)

Her hair is twinkee gold
Her mouth filled with fries
Her food don't ever get cold
She's got Mama Cass thighs
She'll turn her spoon right on you
You'll threaten exercise
Her blood sugar is kinda low
She's got Mama Cass thighs

They locked the door at the smorgasbord
Killed the lights and hid on the floor
She's a lardass and knows just
what's involved in a triple bypass
She swats rice cakes like a horse swats a fly
She's got Mama Cass thighs

She'll let ya make fat jokes
It curbs her appetite
Her fridge is never closed
She got Mama Cass thighs
Vericose veins like a road map
She starved all her mice
She won't sit on your lap
She's got Mama Cass thighs

Broke your hammock how romantic
Breathing so heavy she sounds asthmatic
She's enormous and she's knows just
how to make her toilet flush
Richard Simmons stood up and cried
She's got Mama Cass thighs

She uses the same scale
They use to weigh mail
Magellan got her bloomers then set sail
She's on diuretics and makes
Nell Carter look flat out anorexic
Got on the ferris wheel and everyone died
She's got Mama Cass thighs


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