1.25.2006

When is fisting not funny?

Dear Smart Kitty,

I was recently asked to be a narcotics mule for the eastern European drug lord, Vladimir Rasputin Vanderbeek IV, perhaps you have heard of him.

My question to you is, how many eight balls fit into the *average* woman’s vagina? If at all possible I should really try to WOW him, if you know what I mean. But what if the white lady in my vagina ruptures then mixes with the black beauties concealed in my rectum? Will I turn into a superhuman cyborg or will this just render my fallopian tubes useless? My uterus must stay functioning due to the fact I harvest my own unfertilized Polish eggs and send them to Anthony Edwards’s second cousin via USPS. These Polish eggs are very resilient and are extracted at home by a well trained chimpanzee, they are then put into a Petri dish with seven sea monkeys and a few months later, a stupid white Webster type character appears...bearing only one solitary catch phrase. They truly are cute little bastards. Can I be a drug mule and a philanthropist?

**The average vagina has had the clap 2x, a childhood teeter-totter incident, and a Latino porn fisting debacle (dwarf w/ big hands) **

6 Comments:

At 5:02 PM, Blogger smart kitty said...

Your question will be answered shortly. Stay Tuned (or appropriate command related to the Internet rather than television).

 
At 8:46 PM, Blogger marie curie said...

i think your fallopian tubes will be come super-human while the rest of your uterus is rendered useless

 
At 8:56 AM, Blogger Clemy but call me Erin said...

mc, you can fit 23 eight balls in your haggard loose ass vagina, you should totally do some muling.

 
At 5:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

come on people, i mean come on, we are asking the questions of the universe, show some respect.

 
At 9:21 AM, Blogger Clemy but call me Erin said...

this is going way worse than my book on Things to dip in Buttermilk Ranch dressing.

 
At 5:30 AM, Blogger marie curie said...

look here hussy, my vag is nothing compared to your wide, brown roastbeef. you're just jealous that i only got one of your std's.

 

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